President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" |
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big boobs.
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new
Washington DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a
breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a
lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the US
Senate for assistance.
The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Senator
How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.
Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead on me front lawn. Would ye be so
kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Senator Daschle, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a
smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you folks
care of last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley
replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify
next of kin."
An American is having breakfast in Paris one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the States." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of course."
Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the States."
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do," he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the French."