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Everyone Loves a blonde Joke, except Blondes because they don't understand them.
there is a clerk at a store and a blonde walks in
blonde: can i have that tv in the corner?
clerk: sorry i dont serve blondes.
the blonde gets a brunette wig.
blonde: can i have that tv in the corner?
clerk: sorry i dont serve blondes.
the blonde gets a black wig.
clerk: sorry i dont serve blondes.
blonde: how did you know i was a blonde?
clerk: because thats not a tv in the corner its a microwave.
Q) What is the Defferance between a blonde and an ironing board?
A) An Ironing boards legs are harder to get open
Q) How do you confuse a blonde?
A)put her in a round room, and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q)How does a blonde Confuse you?
A)she comes out and tells you she did it.
Two blondes are walking down the Street, one blonde says look at that dog with< one eye. the other blonde puts her hand over her eye and goes where.
Q) how does a blonde get a tan?
A)She sits under a tree.
Q)How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
A)Her Tampon is in her ear, and she cant find her pencil.
Q)What did the blondes father say to his blonde daughter?
A)If your not in bed by 11 come home.
Q)What did one blondes leg say to the Other?
A)Between you and me, we could make a lot of money.
Q)What does blondes and Computers have in common?
A) They both go down.
Q)What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A)They both been laid all over America.
Q)How do you know a blondes been using a computer?
A)The Joystick is wet.
Q)What does a blonde put behind her ear to make herself more attractive?
A)Her Ankles.
Q)What are the three most common things a blonde says after having sex with a group of guys
A) 1) Thanks Guys
2)Are you all in the same band.
3)Do you all play for the Green Bay Packers
Q)What does a blonde and a Screen door have in common?
A) The more you bang, the Looser it gets.
Q)What is blonde,Brunette,Blonde,Brunette....
A)A blonde doing cartwheels.
Q)Why do blondes have a hard time getting pregnant?
A)Becuase they blow it each time.
Q)Whats the two most irratating part of a blondes Vagina?
A)1)The other Blonde
2)Other guyd waiting thier turn.
Q)Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A)Because they're simple easy, and taste good.
Q)Whats a blondes favorite Nursery Ryme
A) Humpme Dumpme.
Q)Why is blonde like an old washing machine?
A) Becuase they both drip after they're fucked.
Q)How would a blonde punctuate the following "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A) Fun Period Fun Period Fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry.
Q)What is a blondes version of safe sex?
A)Lock the Car door
Q)How does a blonde Interpret 6.9?
A)69 with a Period in the Middle.
Q)Whats the deffernce a blonde having her Period, and a Terrorist?
A)You can negotiate with Terrorist.
Q) Whats the Defferance between a blonde and a Toilet?
A)A Toilet wont follow you after you use it.
Q)What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A)Two tight ends and a wide recerver.
Q)How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A)You have to get them hot, before you put in the meat.
Q)Whats the defferance between a rapid Pitbull and a blonde with PMS.
A)Lipstick
Q)How do blondes get ooze in their belly buttons?
A)From blonde men.
Q)What do you call a lesbian Blonde?
A)A waiste.
Q)Whats the defferance between Indiana and a blonde?
A)a Blonde has higher hills, and Deeper Vallies..
Q)What does a blonde look for after sex?
A)I dont know, im already gone.
Q)What does an airplane and a blonde have in common?
A)they both have cockpits.
Q)Why is a blonde like a shotgun?
A)Give her a cock, and shes ready to blow.
Q) Whats the Differance between a blonde and a Mesquito?
A)When you slap the Mesquito it stops sucking
Q)What does a smart blonde, and a T-rex have in common?
A)Know one knows, no bodies seen either
Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread
Q. What do you call an eternity?
A. Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q. What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet.
A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.
The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot
that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"
The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde!"
He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh,I'm
sorry." She gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.
The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
"I told her First Class isn't going to Houston "
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were counting
today, and all the other kids could only count to four,
but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!'
'Very good,' said her mother.
'Is it because I'm blonde?' the girl said. 'Yes, it's
because you're blonde,' said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from
school. 'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were saying
the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only
say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!'
'Very good,' said her mother.
'Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?'
'Yes, it's because you're blonde.'
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were in gym class
today, and when we showered, all the other girls had
flat chests, but I have these!' And she lifted her tank
top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
'Very good,' said her embarrassed mother.
'Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?'
'No Honey, it's because you're 24.'
Did ya hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive in movie? They went to see " Closed for the winter."
Did ya hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and Twelve blondes were stuck on the ESCALATORS for over four hours.
A blonde was shopping at a target store & came across silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & brought ti over to the clerk to ask what it was,?
The clerk said, "why thats a thermos...... it keeps things hot & some things cold.
Wow , said the blonde, "thats amazing.....I'm going to buy it !" So she bought the Thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "Whats that he asked.?
"Why thats a Thermos........ it keeps hot things hot & cold things cold," shre replied.
Her bos inquired , "What do you have in it ?"
The blonde replied. "Two popsicles, and some coffee..."
A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."
Why are blonds like the Utah Jazz?
They're white, stupid, and easy to penitrate.
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