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Q)Two Dallas Cowboys are riding in a car, Who's driving
A)The Cop

Q)did you know that the 97 Cowboys went 15-1
A)15 arrest, and one Conviction

Q)Who is going to be Mike Tyson next opponint
A)Lorrana Bobbit, Winner eats all

Q)What do Micheal Jackson and Kobe Bryant have in Common?
A)One screws little white Virgin women, the other is a little white Virgin Woman


Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?
A: To figure out what part of "no" he doesn't understand.

Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he'll rebound well after this scandal?
A: Because he'll be the tallest player on the prison team.

Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?
A: To practice jumping bail.

Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started smoking a little pot?
A: To help him prepare for the Big Joint.

Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?
A: To keep the mace out of his eyes.

Q: What's the next event Kobe Bryant will be attending?
A: The Teen not by Choice Awards.

Q: Why did Kobe attend the Teen Choice Awards?
A: He was fascinated by the "choice" aspect of it.

Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?
A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed.

Q: Who's the head lawyer on Kobe's legal team?
A: The one with dirt on his knees.

Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so POPULAR in prison?
A: He's great at penetrating to the hole.

Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so UNPOPULAR in prison?
A: He's an all-star. He doesn't suck.

Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so worried about jury prejudice during his trial?
A: Cuz no one likes a rapist.

Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?
A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house.

Q: Why did Kobe add the letter "O" to his bracelet?
A: So it would stand for: "What Would O.J. Do?".

Q: Why did Kobe buy his wife such a huge diamond?
A: Because the weight of it slows down her punches.

Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe's marital infidelity?
A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying.

Q: What did President Bush say when he heard that Sprite might drop Kobe?
A: "Who cares, I'm a coke man myself."

Q: Why would Kobe Bryant make a good governor?
A: He's getting his scandal out of the way early.


COURT RULING, Chicago Illinois, May 8, 2006 Chicago, Illinois (AP) - A seven year old boy was at the center of a Chicago courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the Judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago Cubs, who the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.